One of the most profound days of my life was the day I was sentenced to a year in jail. It was the beginning of something that I didn't expect. It was one of the hardest years of my life. It was when I realized that It couldn’t matter to me anymore what anyone else thought. And I didn’t realize it back then, that the Lord would use me, to show me the incredible love He had for me.
I recently spoke with a young girl that has broken the law of chastity. She is distraught. I have friends that struggle with addiction. To them, and to all the people that have really messed up in life, the drug addicts, the prostitutes, the gang members, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, and everyone else I know... the people in the church and outside of the church that have made mistakes. To the boys and girls who didn’t say no before marriage, who have heard the messages out there on saving yourself for marriage, and staying pure, and you feel like you just want to run because you have already crossed the line… and you feel marked…and you think there is no turning back…let me speak this truth to you: Jesus does NOT condemn you.
He came to rescue you and restore you, and he will meet you right in the middle of your mess. No matter what kind of mess or how big that mess may be. He will meet you in the middle if you let him. It does NOT matter how messy you have made your life. As one who made his life messier than most, I know this to be true... To my dear little friend who broke the law of chastity, I would say...
You need to remember that it is only by his cleansing blood that you are truly pure. Saving yourself for marriage will not make you right with God. (It is a sign of obedience to Gods commandments), But ONLY trusting Jesus’ atonement for ALL of the ways you have sinned against him will make you right with the Lord. And crazy as it sounds…he is counting on using your past sins for your good if you are his child! They are never wasted.
Maybe you have messed up so many times that you think there is just no way Jesus could forgive you. Or maybe you think if you just feel bad enough and stay away from certain people things will change and God will eventually feel better about you and accept you. But nothing could be further from the truth. Do you know how many accounts there are of women in the Bible that the world thought of very low worth, very sinful women, that Jesus pursued in love? Do you know He says that he takes great delight in his daughters? And rejoices over you? That is how the Lord loves you…in all your mess…in all your sin and shame.
If you are like me, you will have to battle to believe this on a daily basis. You may fight the battle of not only accusations you are telling yourself, but also the accusations you hear from others. But this is when we have to remember that this is exactly the path that Jesus took to save us!
He died the death we deserved to die.
He lived the perfect life we never could.
Jesus was on trial; the world was judge and jury. And this was the path that Jesus chose as the way to rescue the shamed. The path he chose to rescue ME and YOU!
The atonement is the best and quickest summary of what God says to unworthy people. He always says, ‘I love you’ first.
Tell those promises to yourself, daily! Remind yourself of them. I know the shame I have had as a person that made a mess of his life. I know how the Lord has redeemed my life and has shown me a life with Christ, rather than without. Every one of us has experienced shame in some way. It resonates deeply in all of us at some level. And shame had been a close companion of mine for most of my life. It started way before I became a single dad who was jailed and excommunicated.
Fathers Day the year I got out of jail was hard. I was at church and I knew during the service they were going to have all of the fathers stand up and have the kids in Young Mens and Young Womens come up to the front and get a chocolate or something to give to their dads. I was so uncomfortable with it. I was so thankful that my baby Quinn had started crying and I had an excuse to leave the service and basically go hide. A few minutes later…there I stood in the back of the church, and my son came up to me with a chocolate candy bar in his hands, excited for me to have it. Of course I took it and hugged him and allowed him to have that moment to honor me like that. Though inside, I felt completely undeserving of that attention. That boy didn’t know his dad like I knew him.
It has been said that Most people who know shame are horribly uncomfortable with the idea of receiving honor. I didn’t know it that Father’s Day but shame had followed me since I was a young man. There it was twenty five years later standing there right with me, looking me in the eye in that church service.
We all have this self ideal of who we think we should be. When we fall short of that, we feel shame. And of course we fall short, because we are sinners. Our innocence was taken from us because of the fall. Because of our rebellion, that innocence and honor has dissolved.
The Lord Jesus Christ knows every dark crevice of our heart. And just like the father of the prodigal son, he says, “I know what you’ve done. I know where you’ve been. I am so happy you have come home! We need to celebrate!” It almost feels scandalous and undeserving, doesn’t it? It’s too over the top! We can’t handle that are we are delighted in from someone who knows everything about us.
There was a time in my life where I absolutely could not believe that God could love me. I knew the gospel in my head. I preached the atonement to my kids. But it didn’t feel like enough for me. I remember telling the Lord time and time again, “Lord, YOU have to make me believe this. I can hardly believe this and do it myself.” He answered that prayer by stripping me of the enjoyment of every prideful thing in my life, and gave me the gift of “coming to my senses”.
“And when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. Make me as one of thy hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father.”
And then what did the Lord do when I came to him?
"But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said unto him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.’ But the father said to his servants,‘Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring hither the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and be merry. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to be merry."
Those who struggle with deep shame can find this the most awkward. Celebrating me? In my mind, being a servant seems so much more comfortable! I’ll take the back door into his kingdom. I’ll be the wall flower and watch the party going on. I’ll serve the wine while everyone else sits at the table feasting. That’s the role I am most comfortable with.
To those that struggle I would repeat a quote: “There is no gate that says, “Second class, enter here.” If you want Jesus, you must be willing to accept the honor that goes with the relationship. God has honored you. The gospel is the story of how he did it… We never thought he would come down off the throne, willingly become our servant, and serve us all the way to the cross.”
Some days it still feels like I have accidentally walked into someone else’s life. Grace just feels so ridiculous. Like Dorothy walking into the land of Oz…out of the black and white of her life and entering this whole new world of color. It’s beautiful and amazing… yet scary and strange. How do I deserve a loving wife and acceptance? I don't. But I know that the shame that has come from sin is swallowed up in my Savior, and it isn't really about me. It is about HIM.
Oh, the freedom of knowing it isn’t about us! Of knowing each time I come back to my Father when I have sinned, that he only feels compassion for me. That when I call out for help, I am honoring him. I am guessing that I will continue to feel shame, but I will do my best to not let it engulf me like it has in the past. I am so thankful that one day soon, shame will vanish completely.
He came to rescue you and restore you, and he will meet you right in the middle of your mess. No matter what kind of mess or how big that mess may be. He will meet you in the middle if you let him. It does NOT matter how messy you have made your life. As one who made his life messier than most, I know this to be true... To my dear little friend who broke the law of chastity, I would say...
You need to remember that it is only by his cleansing blood that you are truly pure. Saving yourself for marriage will not make you right with God. (It is a sign of obedience to Gods commandments), But ONLY trusting Jesus’ atonement for ALL of the ways you have sinned against him will make you right with the Lord. And crazy as it sounds…he is counting on using your past sins for your good if you are his child! They are never wasted.
Maybe you have messed up so many times that you think there is just no way Jesus could forgive you. Or maybe you think if you just feel bad enough and stay away from certain people things will change and God will eventually feel better about you and accept you. But nothing could be further from the truth. Do you know how many accounts there are of women in the Bible that the world thought of very low worth, very sinful women, that Jesus pursued in love? Do you know He says that he takes great delight in his daughters? And rejoices over you? That is how the Lord loves you…in all your mess…in all your sin and shame.
If you are like me, you will have to battle to believe this on a daily basis. You may fight the battle of not only accusations you are telling yourself, but also the accusations you hear from others. But this is when we have to remember that this is exactly the path that Jesus took to save us!
He died the death we deserved to die.
He lived the perfect life we never could.
Jesus was on trial; the world was judge and jury. And this was the path that Jesus chose as the way to rescue the shamed. The path he chose to rescue ME and YOU!
The atonement is the best and quickest summary of what God says to unworthy people. He always says, ‘I love you’ first.
Tell those promises to yourself, daily! Remind yourself of them. I know the shame I have had as a person that made a mess of his life. I know how the Lord has redeemed my life and has shown me a life with Christ, rather than without. Every one of us has experienced shame in some way. It resonates deeply in all of us at some level. And shame had been a close companion of mine for most of my life. It started way before I became a single dad who was jailed and excommunicated.
Fathers Day the year I got out of jail was hard. I was at church and I knew during the service they were going to have all of the fathers stand up and have the kids in Young Mens and Young Womens come up to the front and get a chocolate or something to give to their dads. I was so uncomfortable with it. I was so thankful that my baby Quinn had started crying and I had an excuse to leave the service and basically go hide. A few minutes later…there I stood in the back of the church, and my son came up to me with a chocolate candy bar in his hands, excited for me to have it. Of course I took it and hugged him and allowed him to have that moment to honor me like that. Though inside, I felt completely undeserving of that attention. That boy didn’t know his dad like I knew him.
It has been said that Most people who know shame are horribly uncomfortable with the idea of receiving honor. I didn’t know it that Father’s Day but shame had followed me since I was a young man. There it was twenty five years later standing there right with me, looking me in the eye in that church service.
We all have this self ideal of who we think we should be. When we fall short of that, we feel shame. And of course we fall short, because we are sinners. Our innocence was taken from us because of the fall. Because of our rebellion, that innocence and honor has dissolved.
The Lord Jesus Christ knows every dark crevice of our heart. And just like the father of the prodigal son, he says, “I know what you’ve done. I know where you’ve been. I am so happy you have come home! We need to celebrate!” It almost feels scandalous and undeserving, doesn’t it? It’s too over the top! We can’t handle that are we are delighted in from someone who knows everything about us.
There was a time in my life where I absolutely could not believe that God could love me. I knew the gospel in my head. I preached the atonement to my kids. But it didn’t feel like enough for me. I remember telling the Lord time and time again, “Lord, YOU have to make me believe this. I can hardly believe this and do it myself.” He answered that prayer by stripping me of the enjoyment of every prideful thing in my life, and gave me the gift of “coming to my senses”.
“And when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. Make me as one of thy hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father.”
And then what did the Lord do when I came to him?
"But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said unto him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.’ But the father said to his servants,‘Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring hither the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and be merry. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to be merry."
Those who struggle with deep shame can find this the most awkward. Celebrating me? In my mind, being a servant seems so much more comfortable! I’ll take the back door into his kingdom. I’ll be the wall flower and watch the party going on. I’ll serve the wine while everyone else sits at the table feasting. That’s the role I am most comfortable with.
To those that struggle I would repeat a quote: “There is no gate that says, “Second class, enter here.” If you want Jesus, you must be willing to accept the honor that goes with the relationship. God has honored you. The gospel is the story of how he did it… We never thought he would come down off the throne, willingly become our servant, and serve us all the way to the cross.”
Some days it still feels like I have accidentally walked into someone else’s life. Grace just feels so ridiculous. Like Dorothy walking into the land of Oz…out of the black and white of her life and entering this whole new world of color. It’s beautiful and amazing… yet scary and strange. How do I deserve a loving wife and acceptance? I don't. But I know that the shame that has come from sin is swallowed up in my Savior, and it isn't really about me. It is about HIM.
Oh, the freedom of knowing it isn’t about us! Of knowing each time I come back to my Father when I have sinned, that he only feels compassion for me. That when I call out for help, I am honoring him. I am guessing that I will continue to feel shame, but I will do my best to not let it engulf me like it has in the past. I am so thankful that one day soon, shame will vanish completely.
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